Thought #1...I deleted some of my older posts because I was angry. Yes angry, I was angry at a situation in my life and I wanted to go into hiding and not let anyone in. But at the same time I wanted everyone to know my anger. My anger at injustice. I feel like that is something I've struggled with all my life. Injustice. I can even go back to elementary school when a girl I walked to school with in the group of kids every morning would mock me for what I wore and when I snapped at her, I'd be the one in trouble. Fast forward to present day, its still happening. Its sad I have to admit and hurts my heart deeply.
Thought #2...I realized a few things recently, that I depend on people too much. I want someone in my life to understand me completely, to just fully take the time to understand my heart, to listen to me, and to support me, back me up, defend me, someone I know that no matter what, they'll be there. I'm expecting something of people that they just may not be able to provide, why? Because God is the only one who can provide such things, wholly and undoubtedly. I am so thankful for this peace knowing He knows my heart and sees every tear, and understands every bit of my emotions and feelings and desires and dreams. I won't lie though, I'm still in constant desire of someone in my life that I can literally run to and physically cry on their shoulder. Its hard when friends live a state away :) But I know God is teaching me something, utter dependence upon Him and Him alone....
Thought #3...I believe now more than ever that reconciliation is a must in the body of Christ, not only are we commanded, but life is simply too short and too precious to keep things unreconciled. I think if we all just stopped, allowed God to search our hearts, be introspective, pray and come to our senses, we would all treat each other a little better, and not only our world, but the body of Christ, would be that much more encouraging and that much more edifying. We are one body, we shouldn't be divided, angry, arguing, and allowing the enemy to kill our bond. I am guilty of this behavior as well...I pray, God search me and know my heart.
Thought #4...If I don't get off the computer now, my number of thoughts will turn into a book! So one last one. I want to pray for you, so please, email me, call me, text me, write me, send me some form of communication to let me know how I can be praying for you....
