Love

I've experienced a lot of different kind of "love" in my life. I loved my 3rd grade crush, he was so cute and funny, I'd make him chase me around the playground in order to kiss me, though I never would let him. In junior high, I was this awkward, permed hair, with glasses, freak that started to fall in love with the cutest boy at the school, though he didn't even know I existed. High school rolled around and I loved my boyfriend. He was my best friend and we spent so much time together.

As time went on, I married a man I loved. When that fell apart, it took me a while to love again. I found another best friend, goofy and fun, whom I loved. I then started to just give up on loving. Then in my mid twenties, I found myself loving someone more then I thought I could. But there was just one problem. The same problem since 3rd grade. It was all wrong. I have loved. I love with all my heart, not half heartedly, and with each love I learned what love was not.

Love isn't watching your crush walk away to another elementary school without saying goodbye, love isn't a note in passing in the hallway then flirting with other girls, and its not choosing drugs and partying over your girl. Love isn't making someone feel they have no right to feel, or have emotions, and love is certainly not ignoring the aches of a tender heart.

I've loved. But it wasn't until now, at 26 that I have learned what love truly is.

Love is saying good morning each day, saying good night with a kiss and a hug. It's a trust that couldn't be broken. It works, its practical, and yet its romantic and fun. Love is holding hands while watching a movie, and feeling safe. Love is being assured that no matter what, I'm loved, and accepted, quirks, emotions, bad habits and all. It's late night giggles over something that's only funny past 10pm, or long stem roses just because. Its picturing for the first time, someone you could have a family with, and be with every day, brushing your teeth side by side. It's patience and kindness, taking time to listen and understand. Growing and changing, serving and respecting. And so much more...but above all, love is knowing that God Himself brought it together.

Josh, I love you. Truly.