Love

I've experienced a lot of different kind of "love" in my life. I loved my 3rd grade crush, he was so cute and funny, I'd make him chase me around the playground in order to kiss me, though I never would let him. In junior high, I was this awkward, permed hair, with glasses, freak that started to fall in love with the cutest boy at the school, though he didn't even know I existed. High school rolled around and I loved my boyfriend. He was my best friend and we spent so much time together.

As time went on, I married a man I loved. When that fell apart, it took me a while to love again. I found another best friend, goofy and fun, whom I loved. I then started to just give up on loving. Then in my mid twenties, I found myself loving someone more then I thought I could. But there was just one problem. The same problem since 3rd grade. It was all wrong. I have loved. I love with all my heart, not half heartedly, and with each love I learned what love was not.

Love isn't watching your crush walk away to another elementary school without saying goodbye, love isn't a note in passing in the hallway then flirting with other girls, and its not choosing drugs and partying over your girl. Love isn't making someone feel they have no right to feel, or have emotions, and love is certainly not ignoring the aches of a tender heart.

I've loved. But it wasn't until now, at 26 that I have learned what love truly is.

Love is saying good morning each day, saying good night with a kiss and a hug. It's a trust that couldn't be broken. It works, its practical, and yet its romantic and fun. Love is holding hands while watching a movie, and feeling safe. Love is being assured that no matter what, I'm loved, and accepted, quirks, emotions, bad habits and all. It's late night giggles over something that's only funny past 10pm, or long stem roses just because. Its picturing for the first time, someone you could have a family with, and be with every day, brushing your teeth side by side. It's patience and kindness, taking time to listen and understand. Growing and changing, serving and respecting. And so much more...but above all, love is knowing that God Himself brought it together.

Josh, I love you. Truly.

Being Still

Recently Lindsay sent me a song, it's called Still, by Watermark. It got me thinking of the business we have on our lives and how often we forget to stop and spend time with the Lord. Why do we put this off? Why do I put this off? I don't know. I have a million excuses for doing so.

Every night at 11pm my alarm goes off. I set this so I remember to take my medication before bed. And I thought, wow, I take the time out of my night to go down stairs get a water come back up and take my meds but I can't set aside the time to routinely spend time with the Lord! Ick! How ungrateful. So I started setting my alarm for 10:30 every night to stop and take time out to spend time in the word. Even if its 5 minutes.

Still by Watermark

The more I get alone
The more I see I need to get alone more, more
Cause just when I think that I'm alone
Your Spirit calls out to me
And even silence has a song
Cause that's when you come
Sing over me

Still, let me be still
Let me be OK
With the quiet in my heart
Still, I want to be still
I'm so quick to move
Instead of listening to you
Shut my mouth
Crush my pride
Give me the tears
Of a broken life,
Still

Oh this world, it falls around me
And flutters all it's beauty in my eyes
But let me choose the solitude
Simplicity has always simply changed my life
Cause even stillness makes me move
Cause that's when my heart
Learns to dance with you

Still, let me be still
Let me be OK
With the quiet in my heart
Still, I want to be still
I'm so quick to move
Instead of listening to you
I'm your child
Tame my heart
Obedience
To me impart
Still

Contentment

Always remember, when you don't get what you want but God gives you what you need, that is the height of happiness. When God says no to your wants but yes to your needs, you are wonderfully contented." ~Charles Swindoll.

I have read this quote over and over again, its in a small book called Perfect Trust. And God always allows this to ring in my ear many times. I am grateful today for God's faithfulness in His provision. I may WANT a high paying job, or I may WANT a large group of friends, among other things, but He has provided exactly what I need.

I had bills a couple weeks back that I had to pay and I was nervous about my bank account. At the end of the week after writing the check, I received my income for that week, and it was exactly the same amount of what my bills cost, down to the exact change. THAT is God's faithfulness, that is His provision. And that is what should bring about a heart of gratefulness.

I miss having a group of friends to go have laughs with or stay out till one in the morning with but that isn't what I need. He has given me a warm loving family and the love of a awesome man, and his family. I'm surrounded by love and encouragement, and support. Who needs 1am runs to TGIFridays?

When God gives me what I need, that is when I am perfectly contented. Amen.

Seeking God

Hebrews 11:6 :"Without faith it is impossible to please God, for anyone who comes to Him must believe, that He exists and that He rewards, those who earnestly seek Him."

What does it mean to SEEK. Well in this context the creek word is zeteo, meaning "to give attention and priority to, to desire, and to choose to follow."

For those of you who know me, I like lists, I make lists of things to do and what I need to get done, in the future or for just the day, but how often do I give God and His kingdom the priority on my list of things to do ever day, or even future things to get done. I don't! I have had this verse in my head for the last week or so, and have been saying it over and over. What does it mean to EARNESTLY SEEK Him?

Well good old Websters dictionary helped me out and I found this awesome.

Earnestly: Eager, showing deep sincerity or feeling, not trivial or petty, enthusiastic devotion, in pursuit of, fervent or passionate adherence or service. (zealous)

Diligently: Persevering effort, attentive, careful, esteem highly, and persistent effort.

Seek: To endeavor to obtain or reach.

After looking through these definitions, I realize that I don't show "enthusiastic, persistent devotion and effort" nor do I "endeavor to obtain or reach"---in this case I should endeavor to reach or obtain more Christlikeness, to know more about Him and to dig more into His word.

Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you."

If I took the time to seek, more consistently, and do it earnestly with passion and effort, I would find more often.

Whats your ENDEAVOR in life? is it to achieve wealth? or applause? or how about to have friends? or even to get married? I know I often times find myself seeking things I shouldn't, or seeking things that aren't going anywhere.

.......He rewards, those who earnestly seek Him!!!

Dog daze.....

Well since I was inspired a couple of months ago, I took the initiative to step out and take some photos. I wanted to capture some pooches out in the park near my house...so I grabbed my camera and headed out. Ultimately one of my goals (God willing) would be to get this dog photography thing off the ground...Here are a few samples!



Hunter:

Bo:
Sally:
Chloe :

This Kind of Love

I'm sharing this song because Lindsay just recently introduced it to me. Its a song that struck me in two different ways. Have a listen and tell me what you think.

This Kind of Love - Sister Hazel

Waiting on the Lord

We all come to a point in our life when we must wait on the Lord. We might be waiting for a job, where you send a dozen and then some resumes out to a million different places. We might be waiting for a direction from the Lord, where to move or if to stay. Others might be waiting to start a family, praying for the perfect timing in Him. And some are waiting on God to bring that right person to spend their life with. No matter what you are waiting on, the fact of the matter is, waiting and being patient is part of the Christian walk. God works in mysterious ways, He prepares the heart, grows the faith, convicts the sin, and sanctifies our lives through the waiting process. I've always had the tendency to rush, tapping my foot, wanting an answer or a remedy to fall on my lap. But when I've stepped back, prayed, surrendered things into the hands of a Mighty God, who is more then capable, my soul is at peace, knowing His timing is never a mistake.


Psalm 27:14
Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!